The concept of modular, flat-pack furniture sounded great to me when I first heard it. My wife, Fran, went bananas at Ikea and I got carpal tunnel syndrome turning their crazy Swedish allen wrench-thingies all night trying to bolt together bookshelves in 65 easy steps. Ryan's hairdryer-inflated oversized denim chair is still a favorite among the kids.
We got the new catalog in the mail, and my wife brought it to me, laughing.
"They must have read your blog!" she chuckled.
She had it flipped open to a page with their new product called Frän.
I don't know what it is--some kind of bracket or something, but the fact that they NAMED A PRODUCT AFTER MY WIFE is not a good sign.
Yesterday, we got a call from Fran's sister, who reported a very unfortunate incident which had just occurred at Ikea where a poor older man had suffered an, ahem, accident--quite publicly. He had stood up in the food court and apparently lost all control of himself. Suffice it to say that I will never eat Swedish meatballs again.
There seemed to be mass hysteria as the man made his way through the corridor to the restroom, which was reported to be "way too far away." A wake of people ran hurriedly away clutching children and large blue bags full of odd-shaped yet utilitarian trinkets.
I told Fran that it would probably inspire a new product with an Ikeafied name: Kräppespuein. I'm not sure what it would be: rubber pants?
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5 comments:
hmmm, it appears that the unfortunate gent had demonstrated the Kräppespuein. The inspired product would probably be the Kräppelokken, or perhaps the Shitzengrabben.
Either way, you really wanna stem that spuein'...
Okay--this post is kinda gross...sorry. I thought of that joke while Fran was on the line with her sister, and I later received a report that they were laughing so hard they were kicking their legs in the air...
huh! hahahahha,...we think alike. I would say trully, Ikea are brought by the aliens.
Oooh, you know what I think of Ikea! Alas, should the annexing plans take place, I may have to pay them a visit. Write a list and stick to it, write a list and stick to it, write a list...
Um, Sorry Quixotic....We can't always go for high class, though, right?
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