Hi There, Neighbor!

We are having the weirdest issue with our next-door neighbor, and I'm not sure what to do about it. For some crazy reason, they keep parking their industrial-sized truck in front of our house.

Flashing back about 12 years, to when we lived in an apartment...We had a downstairs neighbor whom we called "ape-man", because he was 6'5", weighed 360 lbs, was very hairy, and acted quite simian--I suspect he even had one of those nifty tire swings in his living room. We had an all-out feud with this guy because he would often come home late at night drunk and crank up his radio enough to make the pictures vibrate against our walls. We would knock on his door (no answer, but he would turn it down momentarily), call the apartment complex, and, after months of enduring this patiently, we just started calling the police every time. The situation would have Fran in tears, frustrated that we couldn't get along.

We were so excited to move away from our apartment and get a new house. But one set of neighbors was very odd. We started calling them "the aliens" because they had two kids and one Halloween they all dressed as space aliens--the dad was about 7 feet tall and weighed about 100 pounds--he looked like a scarecrow on stilts. But the thing that made them like aliens was their very odd behavior--they were some of the most anti-social people I've ever seen. During the process of moving in and adjusting to our new house, we would try and say "hello" but they would scarcely acknowledge us, sometimes scurrying into their home with their head down and eyes averted, flinching like a whipped dog. Fran would joke that if we spoke to them they would pass out. Their kids, who were elementary to middle school aged (old enough to know better), would not answer us or acknowledge us in any way (I know the "stranger-danger" concept, but for Pete's sake). And no, they weren't deaf or mute.

One time, the aliens' dog, who was part pit bull and very muscular, was running loose in their yard--they were in the back and I was in the front, mowing. At some point, this threatened the dog naturally, and she became very aggressive, crouching and growling in a way that was pretty alarming. She did the same thing to Fran, who was pregnant at the time, when she went to get the mail. Finally, Fran, thinking that adults could talk about something without touching off World War III, caught the wife when she was out in her driveway, and mentioned that their dog had been somewhat threatening on at least two occasions (later, we found out that it had gotten in a fight with another neighbor's dog) and asked her to asking her to have it supervised and on a leash (which is the law in our city, anyway). Our neighbor's response was to point at the animal, exclaim: "This dog???!!" and roll her eyes. Until they moved out about four years later, they barely spoke to us again, and were clearly annoyed with us.

My thinking is that, if the reverse had happened, I would certainly be defensive about it but I would let it go after, say, a week. Some people are just like that, though. They think any kind of disagreement is a grudge-match, and it's on for life. How do you diffuse that? And the thing we figured out about neighbor trouble in a house vs. and apartment is that when it's your home, these people are pretty much going to live near you indefinitely, so you had better learn some tolerance. After one week of us moving in, one neighbor put up the ugliest window covers available for purchase on the face of the earth. Did we complain? no. Another has ultra liberal political signs taunting us from across the street. I just laugh. Another has decided that aluminum foil would be a great accessory to one of their windows--It's Texas, it's hot--go for it and congratulations, Ghetto-Martha Stewart!

Lest it be thought that we can't get along, I've just listed the exceptions. When the aliens moved out (Fran says their mother ship called them in), we rejoiced. Fran made brownies for our new neighbors, and they have been delightful--we've gotten together for backyard cookouts and parties and stuff like that. We've been friendly with other neighbors around us and have very few problems...except for our neighbors on the left....

The couple seemed nice enough--the wife even went to high school with me. they are social, but on a certain level where they don't open up too much--almost as though they have something to hide. They have a daughter who is Ryan's age, and for three or four years we would invite her to Ryan's birthday party. Then we noticed that they weren't reciprocating at all--in fact, they would invite most of the neighborhood kids, boys and girls of all ages, except for Ryan, which we found very odd. Ryan was confused and felt left out, but Fran, who has that "mama bear" protectiveness about the situation, couldn't force herself to forgive the snub.

Later, we found out that the dad, who is in the movie business, had contemplated filming some sort of adult movie in their home (yes, next door to us--his wife mentioned to Fran that she had dissuaded him). So Ryan doesn't go and play over there anymore because that movie thing creeps us out. He doesn't understand this, and we can't explain it to him. He has made new friends in the neighborhood and at this age in elementary school, boys and girls don't really play well together anyway. So, there has been a little tension, although I would say that I just look at it with amused indifference and a little symathy to Ryan for not being able to hang out with some friends whom he likes.

The dad has tried our patience a little--he keeps odd hours, and goes through phases of firing up his ultra-loud Harley outside our bedroom window at 5:00 AM, running his table saw during Kaitlyn's naptime (which is understandable but still annoying), and bumping/slamming the liftgate on his bobtail truck at early/late hours of the day, right behind our house. And for the past year, he has been parking this large bobtail on our street (also against the city ordinances).

The thing that is driving Fran up the wall (and now me, because I know it stresses her out), is that for some reason this truck keeps ending up directly in front of OUR house. One of the things I like to do is sit in the front room, open the windows, and check out my trees/flowers/shrubs/birds/and the occasional snake outside my window. What I don't want is to feel like I live in a trucking terminal. What I really don't want is my wife stressing out and running out the front door with a machete' to "take care of this once and for all".

I kind of understand what is happening--their cars don't both fit in their driveway, so they have to have one parked in front of their house. And, if they don't leave room for the mailman around their box (the mailman drives through our neighborhood and won't get out of his truck if the mailbox is blocked), they won't get their mail. So the only alternative is for them to park further down the street (ie. in front of our house). But they've not taken time to make any explanations or apologies or ask for permission. And, yes, it is a public street, but it's still rude.

Now, for a pile of disclaimers: This isn't the focus of our life. It's just annoying. If this was the worst thing that ever happened to me, I would be jumping for joy. On a scale of annoyance from 1-10, this is about a 3 for me, but Fran is starting to take it very personally and uses words like "inconsiderate, 'a-hole', and (#$@( truck." I hate it when she uses words like that. Plus, I get to drive away and don't have to look at it all day like she does. Over the past year, this has happened with a frequency of about one full week each month.

So, normal humans would probably just say something, but you have to just go with me on this that, due to our clearly strained relations with this couple, they would probably freak out over being confronted on this. I consider myself to be pretty diplomatic, but this looks like a minefield to me, and just doesn't seem to be worth saying something and touching off a feud. We even tried subtle hints like waiting until the truck is gone for a little while and parking one of our cars in front of our house to block the way. That works, until we need to move the car for some reason. You would think they could take a hint, right? You would think they would ask or comment in some way when we see them, right?

One option is to call the police--they are not supposed to have this type of truck on the street in our neighborhood. I have a problem doing that, though--especially without talking to them first.

The recent event that brought this issue to a head was when one of Fran's friends mentioned to her "You know, I didn't recognize your house without that big white truck parked in front of it." This just provoked Fran into a frenzy. It was the last straw that sent her on a mission--now, she is on a mission to run a blockade in front of our home to keep the evil truck away. Maybe this will cause a discussion at some point (Fran is certain that they know we don't appreciate it and just don't care that it bugs us).

I probably won't confront them with it unless I absolutely must, but we are ready in case the subject comes up in any way--we are going to say that we don't mind their truck every once in a while but hope that it isn't going to be all the time.

Why can't we all just get along?