Zinger

We all managed to get to church yesterday, which is important to me. I hope it doesn't surprise too many people to learn this, but I usually don't go into this in my blog since I'm not the best example of a religious person--at least I feel like I'm consistent in my behavior, but I don't try to ram my beliefs down anyone else's throat. But, regarding attending church on Sunday--I think it starts the week off right, and for one reason or another, reasons which I feel are sound, our family's attendance has been spotty over the past 18 months or so.

There are actually good reasons why. I feel compelled to share a few to help justify my irritation:

1) Kaitlyn was born two years ago, and the doctor told us not to take her in public for 6 months if we could avoid it because there was a particularly dangerous outbreak of a disease that infants tended to be susceptible.

2) After 6 months, Fran was hospitalized for a week and Kaitlyn hospitalized for 4 days in a very dark week for our family. People were under the impression that the recovery was immediate, because it was convenient for them to think so. Unfortunately, it actually took about a year.

3) Other medical and personal issues arose which we don't necessarily disclose to others at church unless they ask directly, just because I don't think it's polite to dump your personal problems on others unless they are willing to hear them. And...no one really asked.

4) My travel plans have kept me out of town several weekends, and Fran finds it difficult to pile everyone together and get them out the door without my help, especially to make a schedule in the morning.

5) The other Sundays, we take turns, one going and the other staying home with Kaitlyn. For some reason, probably because she didn't go for the first year of her life, Kaitlyn has never adapted to the church nursery very well, so inevitably she gets very upset and one of us has to hold her outside while the other stays inside the auditorium.

The thing is, there are people who, I freely admit, are better people than I am when it comes to this issue, worship every week, as much as 3 times per week. They are never, ever absent. I even saw one couple who had a baby on Tuesday, and were sitting in class with the newborn on Sunday morning. No excuse that I give can justify not being there every Sunday morning without fail. They don't mind hauling their squirming, screaming kids everywhere, either.

So, to me, who really wants to be at church on Sunday morning, this has been a frustrating time. To make matters worse, there are a couple of people who take it upon themselves to comment on our absence every time they see us. I take this as extreme rudeness which is intended to make the speaker feel more important, but it is done in such a tone that they can quickly retreat and claim that they are just inquiring after our well-being.

I know that several people who read this blog who are cynical about organized religion, and issues like this serve easily to reinforce their bad opinions of devoutly religious people who look down their noses at other people. I have to say that for years I felt the same way, and acknowledge that there are, of course, people who don't go to church (I'm using church as a euphamism throughout this whole entry--please don't ask me to expound on the definition of a religious person) who are morally upright, kind, good people. Many of my friends, particularly scientists, are atheists or agnostics, which seems to be a common theme due to skepticism and their perceived lack of hard evidence of God's existence and the poor behavior of his representatives here on earth. They either dispute the Bible's authenticity or just sincerely don't care.

My brief sermon is that, in reading the Bible, it is obvious that Jesus concerned himself mainly with lifting up people that were having a hard time, and heartily criticized church leaders who looked down their noses at people--he even said "Don't judge others, so you won't be judged." and "Why are you worried about the speck of dust in someone else's eye when you have a huge log stuck in your own eye?" I love the hyperbole.

So, it really ticked me off (cleaning up my language for this one post) when a particuarly snooty woman confronted our family as we were walking out after church, saying slyly to my wife, "So...you all managed to make it today? Why didn't I see your husband?" (I had decided this week to take Kaitlyn to Children's church with Ryan, and stand outside the door the whole time to make sure she acclimated well and didn't freak out, which she did).

I happen to know that this woman, without asking us anything, has expounded on all sorts of negative theories as to why we've been absent, most of which centered around her favorite topic of marriage instability (I know this because she shares the theories about others with everyone, including us), which, although true much of the time, is of course is false in our case.

I replied to her comment by saying "Yes, we're very hard to keep track of, aren't we?" In other words, I know you're watching our every move, and it's annoying. I feel like she's a private annoyance sent to torture and distract me from wanting to go to church. I also know that Fran just dreads her comments every week and it is really demotivating to get our crap together to go, just to be confronted in this catty manner. Fran usually just takes it and moves on, somewhat dejected, and just voices her outrage to me privately.

Knowing this, and feeling protective of my wife's feelings, I became very angry at this comment, and continued "...Our full attendance records are available for review, if you like. Good thing Wednesday service doesn't 'count', right?"

Her face flushed, and a friend of mine who was standing nearby laughed a nervous laugh at the mini-confrontation. I was a little embarrassed, but feel justified at responding mildly to the bullying we've been receiving. This woman certainly feels that she is justified in confronting us for our own good, and I feel that she needs to shut down before she drives someone crazy with her meddling and gossipy behavior.

I can't believe this chick made me lose my cool. Maybe I'll send her this post.