Gerrymandering

School starts Monday--Ryan will be starting second grade. This, like many other changes in life, has generated a little controversy in our circle of friends.

Since Ryan started kindergarten, Fran has organized a monthly outing of a group of the moms--everyone is invited, and the group has gotten larger. Some of the more fun teachers even come along at times. One of the things that it helps out with is "how to find your way through the school system". In some ways it is good to temper your expectations and take some of the things that happen in the classroom less personally. For example, we thought Ryan's teacher last year didn't like him because she was very defensive when we asked about his progress. It turns out that she is just "that way". It wasn't about us--funny how often that is the case.

Another thing we kind of picked up on is that the student distribution to different teachers isn't necessarily a random process. Teachers get together and discuss groups of kids that should be split up next year for academic reasons, social harmony, or even something obscure like parental involvement (One class did not have any parents volunteer for "room mom" for parties, etc because they all worked).

Ryan has a nice core group of friends, and Fran was worried (beyond reason) that he would get isolated from them this year. Additionally, there was a particular teacher that was said to be "THE BEST" second grade teacher ever. The bylaws of the school state that you are not allowed to request a specific teacher, but you could specify the teaching style that would work best with your child. So, Fran begged me to draft a letter that walks this semantic tightrope.

Essentially, here's what my letter said :

Dear Principal:

I'm writing in response to the information you asked for regarding our child's personality and placing them with the right teacher for the second grade. I feel like I need to explain myself a little more than that sheet allows.

When my husband and I went to the open house, we had the opportunity to meet and chat with the second grade teachers and while we have nothing negative to say about any of the teachers, we both were very impressed with Mrs. X in particular. She visited with us and Ryan (and our Kaitlyn!) for a little while and explained a few things about the second grade in general and her classroom and methods (and of course her guinea pig). We got a really comfortable feeling with her and especially the way she interacted with Ryan. They just seemed to "click"!

Ryan is a very bright child and although we think he'll do his best with any of the teachers, he is very self-critical at times and does best in a positive, nurturing environment. We know very well that we aren't supposed to ask for a specific teacher. We just thought sharing our experience at open house and the positive interaction we were so impressed with might have some weight in your consideration.

Thank you for all you do!

Guess what? When the class rolls were announced, Ryan is enrolled in Mrs. X's class!

We met her last night and she is indeed a wonderful teacher. Ryan is excited about learning how to write cursive, tell time on a clock, and some of the other fun stuff. Also, incredibly, Mrs. X is a big proponent of creative writing, and send a whole sheet home explaining how we should encourage our kids to embrace the process of creative writing without being overly judgemental of punctuation, grammar, and spelling at this point. Hee hee! Like she's preaching to the choir, here. Additionally, there is the opportunity for the kids to write and an independent publisher will publish their stories.

The downside comes in now--Ryan was put into this class, which I suppose is the most desireable group, along with four or five of his friends. But the boy whose mother is Fran's best friend was placed into a different class. She was absolutely livid about this, especially after she found out that Fran had "written a letter" to the principal--her statement: "I guess I'm losing out because I followed the rules." And this may be true. It was a pretty traumatic thing, with about a dozen phone calls going back and forth between our houses and then from the friend to the principal. We certainly didn't want to feel like we were gloating, so we suppressed our celebration a little.

The boy in question is a good boy for the most part, but he is 6 months older than Ryan, has older brothers, and tends to be a little dominant (and somewhat mischevious--a great skill learned to cope with older siblings). So maybe this is a good time for Ryan to stretch his wings a little, and may be a good time for this boy to make and maintain friendships rather than depending on ready-made buddies that he's known since preschool.

As usual on the first day of school, I am expecting Fran to shed a few tears as her little boy walks into his classroom wearing an oversized backpack, a few inches taller and a year wiser.