Snakes on a Plane!

Okay, that's a movie I'm not going to go see...EVER! I guess someone is trying to give me a heart attack. I really don't even like snakes in the zoo.

Last week, Fran called to tell me that she was leaving her friend's house and a 4-foot snake was crawling over the road slowly. She rolled over it and felt a crunch. Then she stopped and put the car in reverse. No crunch. She looked over to see it lying in the grass on the side of the road, hissing.

She asked me to star in "CSI: Reptilia" and go to see if the body of the snake was still there. I found the scene of the crime, a big splat on the road with a slithering blood trail leading off the road. I extrapolated the path to where it could hide in cover, looking carefully as I walked--then I spotted it. The snake had actually died in the process of crawling over a short garden fence, so half of its body was on one side, and half on the other. Decidedly gross.

I called her and reported "One down..."

Now for something completely different....

I'm not sure where I get the reputation for being rough on my stuff, but I've earned that rap somehow. I think I have at least a semblance of light touch in my hands, and I'm pretty dextrous, but nevertheless I seem to get jabs....

Fran: "Hey, Bull! The China Shop called--they were wondering when you were coming back in..."

So, when I traded my phone in for one of those nice, new palm phones with the stylus (you know, one of those pen-thingies that you use to select on the menu screen--detachable/highly loseable), Fran's response was "Wow! That's neat. I'll give you two days before you lose that stylus..."

My work partner, Joe: "I'll set the over/under on you losing that stylus at two weeks." But we didn't set a dollar amount. Mostly, I must say, because I was a little doubtful myself.

I've had it 24 hours now, and I've already dropped it onto the floorboard of my car and had to rummage around for it in the 100-degree heat. Twice.

Today, I was returning from a pretty long day. I was walking up to my car and spotted my stylus on the ground next to my car tire. I looked around to make sure no one was watching, then, embarrassed, I reached down quickly and grabbed it. Whew! Dodged a bullet--I almost didn't make it 24 hours...

Then I went to put it into the holder in my phone and was shocked to learn that my stylus was still in place. Somehow, I found a duplicate of the EXACT SAME stylus that goes with the phone. On the ground next to my car. It is actually a little scary and puzzling, but I'm just going with it. Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself here, but do I get to collect double if I hang on to it for the whole term of the betting period?

Fran's explanation: "God gave you an over/under of 1 day!"