I'm Baaaack!

Well, whaddya know? While I was gone for 12 days to Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, and Massachusetts (nobody look that spelling up--I just winged it), I had about a total of 30 minutes and a bad keyboard and left a couple of entries, pushing my total # of entries over 100! Cool! I stuck with it!

Getting serious now...

I had an unexpected moment yesterday while traveling--I had to change planes in New York, and as we circled Manhattan, I realized that we were going right over ground zero. The plane was tilted on its side and I just looked out my window to the left and there it was, a blatant void, shocking--like a mastectomy scar.

Five years ago this week I was sitting under the two towers on a bus. There was a place where the building curved specifically and if you held your camera up, you could take a picture of yourself taking a picture. This wasn't insight of mine, the tour guide told us all to get ready and explained it and I guess it was just a neat tourist thing to do, so I did it. I thought of that picture.

The commotion and excitement of the plane stopped and everyone was silent. People had been trying to pick out Broadway, the Brooklyn Bridge, and the Statue of Liberty and they froze in their seats and stared down at the two dusty footprints of the collapsed buildings.

It was also a Tuesday when they fell, I thought to myself. People were sitting in an airplane just like me, trying to get to work or to see loved ones. On the day they were destroyed, I was in Oklahoma City--at the time it struck me that the people there empathized better than anyone in the country, and were shaken to the core. The Oklahoma City momument is chilling to visit--an empty chair represents each of the victims. On September 11th, TV's were on everywhere in the city and, just like the rest of the country, we were watching the footage over and over and over...People walked around in shock. I got in my car and drove the 200 mile trip home in a complete daze--I actually had a hard time believing what was happening.

It made me reflect on my trip and the people that I met all over New England. It was very cool to drive through small towns and see the patriotisim through signs, flags blowing in the wind, ribbons, monuments. These people are very much different from people in Dallas. It was funny to hear them speak but mainly to listen to their thoughts expressed and to know that people see things differently and believe them with their whole heart.

Flying over ground zero, I couldn't help but ask--who was the target of the attacks? Surely not the people from Dallas, or New England, or even the people in the towers and planes. It was the ideals of our country. It really pissed me off. What an act of cowardice! And I felt grief--unexpectedly strong grief. Was I the last one in the world to have this sink in?

Then I started to feel bad that the reality of the situation hadn't hit me until I saw it with my own two eyes. Til I put myself in their shoes, and considered the situation fromt he view of how it would affect MY family if I didn't come home today. Why was it a more potent lesson when I applied it to myself?

This trip has been one of a lot of introspection--probably because I've had a lot of time to myself that I normally just don't get. But I did live in the moment as much as I could, and enjoyed experiencing the emotional swings of peace, hard work, exhaustion, excitement, and satisfaction--and this moment of grief.

There are an unbelievable amount of stories from this trip...not even sure how to start...maybe I'll start tomorrow. Thanks for the calls and Emails!