More Tea, Anyone?

My cell phone rang at 7:30 PM. It was an unfamiliar number.

Was Fran stranded at a gas station somewhere?

Is someone in the hospital?

Is it a telemarketer? Did someone find something I've lost? Couldn't be that--when I lose something, it tends to be gone forever...Like that shiny new $450 watch I absentmindedly left on the table at the restaurant while trying to set the time correctly.

No--it was a customer--a new account I'm inheriting from a colleague--and he was calling to chew me out. Lovely.

I actually thought it was a joke for a second--the guy stuttered and lisped like a drunk Elmer Fudd--Actually, he is an engineer wondering where the heck his "stuff" was...7:30 PM?
I was home with the kids alone, and Kaitlyn was acting a little bit needy. I had already read her a couple of stories, and she had been rummaging around the house looking for new little treasures. She was on pace to break about two figurines per day wherever we went over the past couple of days, and I feel like I've just been following her around saying "no" to everything she wants to do.

When you see a two-year-old grabbing things and running, like a bag of chips, a pair of scissors, a glass clock received as a wedding gift, a picture frame, or a jar of vitamins, it is important to stop the child before she hurts herself. But, reflecting back on the day and realizing that you've constantly been lecturing the child, you worry about crushing the child's spirit by being negative all the time.

It was just then that Kaitlyn dumped a freshly-made pitcher of sweet tea onto the kitchen floor. An entire pitcher...on the freshly-mopped floor. In the process, the full pitcher, before spreading out across the floor, landed on her big toe, causing her to scream loudly.

At this point, I ran into the kitchen, with Elmer Fudd still complaining into my left ear (at this point, he had said everything that needed to be said at least twice, and it had reached a ridiculous level of being unreasonable, so I was ready for the call to be over). I leaned over to pick Kaitlyn up and the phone cut off--excellent, one less thing to worry about. I set it down.
I told her "No, Katilyn!" and then, realizing that she was very upset, held her until she calmed down. Then I set her down in a chair and went about cleaning the kitchen floor. I used bath towels--it was two gallons of sticky sweet tea, and I realized I was going to have to mop again after putting the kids to bed. I was so angry that I turned and snapped at Kaitlyn, who started crying again. Ryan also snapped at her--it made me realize that he was just following my bad example--I leaned down and told him to be kind. It made me uncomfortable to see my behavior toward Kaitlyn modeled by my 7-year-old.

I served them their dinner, bathed them both, dressed them in the pajamas, and put them to bed with a quick story and their bedtime prayers.

Fran called to check on everything, and I jokingly said that we were reenacting the Boston Tea Party in the kitchen. I started to feel guilty, realizing that, even though I couldn't help it, I had left Kaitlyn unsupervised with the tea, and that she was just acting out her curiosity. She has a very sweet personality, and it made my heart ache to consider the confusion that she must be experiencing now--She is very bright, and she is naturally testing the boundaries of her world.
After cleaning up, I went upstairs to where Kaitlyn was asleep in her crib. I leaned over and kissed her on the cheek and told her "Daddy loves you, Kaitlyn." I always talk to the kids when they are asleep--I believe they subconsciously hear everything and that the message gets through.

My theory of parenting is that you are a guide to help your child through the uncertain times of childhood. Discipline is actually the process of helping them along the path, and there's no room for anger in this process. I'm so thankful that we have such a clever, wonderful child--so many other kids I see just seem to have no personality or depth to them, and our Kaitlyn is so bright and beautiful. I know that I do a lot of things right in parenting--it's one of the things that I think I do best. But there are still some things I need to work on.