Explanation required

Couldn't help myself...I had to explain some of these...

1) I have been to both the FBI Academy and Secret Service Academy where I shot fully automatic Uzi's.
Yep

2) I have been in a gunfight, and I've been shot with a shotgun.
As previously stated, perhaps not this dramatic--during summer camp (I was a counselor), 4 of us got into a BB gun fight with some high powered guns. We all chickened out after one guy got shot in the chest and it blew apart a little metal badge that he had on. The shotgun thing did suck--One of my buddies (possibly drunk, but not confirmed) didn't see me and a friend sitting in front of some bushes (we were camoflauged)--he shot directly across the field and nailed me in the shoulder--hurt like crap!

3) I've shot arrows (with points) high into the air and then tried to catch them as they come down.
Candidate for the Darwin award

4) I've been in the halftime show at Texas Stadium during a Dallas Cowboys game.
Yeah, I know, who cares?

5) I've seen the Queen of England

6) I've been explicitly propositioned by a girl who later sent me a card reading "Good Luck with the Maggots!'
The girl was quite gross...We were in Biology together and were raising fruit flies. I ran into her the other day and she looks like a huge, bulging, swollen balloon from the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade.

7) Bono from U2 gave me (personally, and really) a "Thumbs Up"
Cool, huh? I was standing on a hill giving him a thumbs up, and he rolled down the window of the limo and did it back to me--and I have witnesses...

8) I have invented something, made a prototype, and have almost sent it in for a patent (but probably won't)
Don't ask me what it is--it's stupid.

9) I have been offered the services of a hit man
Really debated whether or not to put this in here--it's funny, too, because it was very casually mentioned.

10) I know someone who made $40,000 in one day in a true pyramid scheme
He actually took it home and buried it for 2 months--the pyramid collaped (of course), and some people lost major money and went around to all involved looking for it--this guy is also related to #9.

11) I have received an award for helping save someone's life after a car accident

12) I have swum a mile (swimmed? swamed?)
That really sucked, too--we were supposed to incrementally warm up over a week by swimming increasingly long distances. I didn't do that part. On the last day, I stayed up all night and just went and jumped in and started swimming. It took forever.

13) I have assisted with research in Alzheimer's Disease, Parkinson's Disease, Cancer, Leukemia, Diabetes, Heart Disease, and Breast Cancer.

14) I have never seen illegal drugs in my life, or been offered to try them (please don't).

15) I have cried at the opera
Shouldn't have put this in here...

16) I cry when I see beautiful impressionist paintings
Don't mind this one so much...

17) I once gave a speech at NASA
It wasn't necessarily to NASA people--it was just at a meeting held at NASA--the speech was about an electron microscopy technique that I helped develop

18) I once had a performance review where I angered the manager so much that she lost her mind, used the F-word at least 20 times, and stormed out of the room. Because I needed the job very badly, I sat there and didn't say anything and never mentioned it to anybody. She was later fired.
Psycho Bitch!

19) I have never broken a bone in my body

20) I was an Eagle Scout and was named "Scout of the Year"

21) I once slept in the woods without a tent and hiked 14 miles in the hills one day completely by myself.
I used to pack in a hammock all the time. I was hiking with some guys who were constantly bitching all the time, so I left them and hiked all day alone--it was great--I saw a ton of animals. However, this was also put in to slightly freak Nicole out...

22) I've been hit by a car and lay in the street in a puddle of blood til someone found me.
Not exactly the best day of my life--I bit all the way through my lower lip

23) I've been injured in the country and had to ride over 100 miles in an ambulance
For the love of Pete, please don't ever ask me about this one...I ended up naked in front of about 1000 people!

24) I'm paralyzed by fear in front of large groups, but I've emceed at a large gathering including telling jokes in front of everyone.
I sincerely HATE public speaking

25) I lived very near a bear's den and used to go watch it all the time
Put this in just to freak out Nicole, who hates bears--I went to Baylor, and the mascot (a black bear) lived in the bear pit across the street.

26) I once accidentally went deer hunting out of season
...but it was in Arkansas, so who cares?

27) I once dumped a girl by moving and never calling her again (a year later I went to the dentist and it was her mom)
Her mom loved me and blamed her daughter--sick, huh?

28) I once wrote a story called "The most Influential Person in My life" and lied about who that person was.
Hmmmmm...kinda begs the question, but I don't want to get into it...

29) I didn't see the ocean until after I was 20 years old, despite visiting Seattle, Boston, and Washington D.C. before that time.

30) I once handcuffed my brother, tied him up with socks, stuffed him in a sleeping bag, put him in a box, and piled stuff on top of the box (Sorry, Don).
Actually, he liked this game...seriously! Didn't you, Don?

31) I've had a job and have made my own money since I was 10 years old
And it's all gone...

32) I was truly "Separated at Birth" and have never met my biological father, and then, this year at age 34, found out that I had a sister that I had no idea existed.
Hi Nicole!

33) I once won a door prize worth over $1000.
Trip to San Antonio, Beautiful hotel suite, Dinner, and $500 cash--someone else with my same name tried to claim it also

34) I can type about 70 wpm
blah blah blah blah blah

35) I was expelled from Elementary school for throwing a desk at a teacher
Too bad she ducked

36) My overall fight record: 8 wins, 1 loss (retired) (Note: 2 wins by knockout, loss to Alberto Guerrera, April 10, 1982) (last fight April 10, 1989)

37) I've had unexpected windfalls of (a lot of money) 3 times in my life
woo hoo!

38) I've been screwed out of (a lot of money), and screwed someone out of $175 one time and couldn't pay him (see #36).
Long stories, but the $175 deal I accidentally lost someone's key to their moped and they got a bunch of parking tickets--then he tried to come at me about a month later and I was forced to kick his ass repeatedly til someone pulled me off him.

39) I was named "Salesperson of the Year" for a large international company

40) I once had a huge crush on a girl and wrote her poems and sent them to her, then never asked her out because I was afraid she would say "no".
What an idiot--it was just friggin high school, for God's sake.

41) I once had a huge crush on a girl and waited in line with her for 2 hours to donate blood because she was a (authentic and sincere and wonderful) "tree-hugging" save-the-world type person, and even used my whole Spring Break to go on a mission trip with her to work in an orphanage. I also used $12 of my last $18 in the world to pay for Chinese food for us because we were both at the restaurant at the same time. I never asked her out once.
Glad I didn't

42) At least 2 different times in my life, I have had dreams so vivid that I woke up the next morning, canceled all my plans, and acted on what my dream told me to do (both times it worked out perfectly, too).
For the record, I do not believe in: ghosts, ESP, UFO's/extraterrestrials, bigfoot, the Loch Ness monster

43) My wife and I were baptized on the same day, September 21st, many years before we ever met.
Not the same year. It was of our own free will and, no, it was not down in the river (next to the van)

44) When I first saw my wife it was literally love at first sight, and I turned to my friend and told him "That's the girl I'm going to marry."
I may have done that before, though, I really don't remember...But I did ask her to marry me after our second date (in the breakroom at work).

45) I have 2 different birth certificates with 2 different names on them.
Weird, huh?

46) I once made a "ninja move" and killed a rat with a 2'x4' with one swing
Hi-yah!

47) I once caught a fish with a piece of string and a chunk of styrofoam (no hook)
Saw a bunch of kids feeding bread to them every night...

48) I studied Latin and received a silver medal on the National Latin Exam. I have had at least brief conversations with others in at least 6 languages (not including Latin).
I know, what a geek. Languages I am fluent in: Spanish, American Sign Language (previous girlfriend's family was all deaf) Kinda know: Lao (previous roommate--I crack his parents up), French, Italian (kinda like Latin) Can say some words: German, Japanese (Also, in American Indian: Shestasahoyataheh = "hello walking bear shit", does that count toward something?)

49) I once was coaxed into impromptu playing "wipeout" on the drums, complete with fast-paced solos and without sheet music at a large gathering with a bunch of strangers
Other than that, I pretty much sucked at drums--that was the peak of my performance career

50) I have officially been on the rolls of the churches of 4 different denominations in my life: I was born Catholic, was christened, and even have Godparents. I was baptized in the Baptist church at the age of 13. (Oddly enough, it's always felt like I was talking to the same God).

So now you know...