Don't be a Comment Chicken

I admit freely that I'm a shameless comment whore. That's not exactly what this is about...

Although this isn't the reason I keep bloggin' away, it does help to get feedback, especially when somebody likes something.

So, Don told me that he's not leaving comments anymore because I made fun of him when he does. Waaaaahhhhh!!!! Do you think not leaving comments can STOP that? Like the time we were all in the car, and you thought it would be a great idea to moon someone....you see where I'm going with this? Yes, it's a threat!

Anyway, even if you don't want to leave a public message, do like some people and at least shoot me an Email once in a while...or a twenty (seriously, just kidding).
Sometimes I write off-line (don't know if I've ever said this before, but my blog is a really good vehicle for clearing out my random thoughts while I'm working on a couple of books (or "projects", like we in the business refer to them--yeah, right)).

If you like something, or even if you don't like something (that would be intriguing, unsettling--I haven't had to react to that yet), just let me know you're out there.

To end with a story: I am actually a pretty shy, somewhat self-conscious person, and just recently have opened the blog up to strangers to read. Sometimes, when I look at the stack of work on my desk and get overwhelemed, I look up in the top right corner of my screen and click on "Next Blog"--you get some random result--usually either someone from another country, an advertisement (Hey, Blogspot is free, right?), or what-have-you. I saw that sometimes teenagers establish a blog and use it for instant messaging--I'm thinking this is a good way to get around parental controls or the ability to track what was typed--sneaky, huh? But one time, I found a guy's website where he had made a brief entry the day before, his first entry. He wrote about the fact that his marriage was breaking up--they had blended their two families together, and now they were going to separate. He was heartbroken and asking for encouragement. I immediately typed up an encouraging response--his entry really touched me and you could just tell he wasn't used to expressing himself very much and I thought about all the energy and/or desperation it took for him to put himself out there.

When it came time to send the message, I didn't do it. Here's why-I would have had to leave a link to my blog, and I just wasn't ready for others to see it. What if he hated it? What if it was my next door neighbor? What if I misspelled a stupid word and he thought I was just a Big Southern Dummy? I was afraid of what he would think of me. It wasn't worth the risk. I actually exited out of the blog without noting the URL, and I couldn't find it again. I wonder what happened to him...

Now I feel very guilty about that. I could have done something for this guy, and I know how much it would have meant for him. It's part of being a good human being to encourage others. But it leaves you vulnerable.

When I let others into my blog space, it feels like I'm dangling a fishing line out of the back of my meek rowboat, and I'm in danger of inadvertantly hooking a leviathan and dealing with the consequences.

Wow, this is starting to sound very self-serving, almost like a shameless solicitation, but hopefully you realize that it's really deeper than that. And there are times when I have put myself "out there", but to be honest with you, the risk/reward thing has to be a pretty stacked deck for me to do it.

So--this title is a comment directed at myself, and you are just an innocent bystander.

It's kind of weird being on this side of the equation--you wonder if people are responding to what you are putting out there...Look around--you see a lot of people start blogs and stop them, or never really get them off the ground. Lots of people say "I don't have time for that."

But I suspect it's a risk/reward thing.