False creations proceeding from the heat-oppressed brain...

I almost went into a heat-induced fugue today. I was driving around, frustrated about a bunch of things, mostly work, including someone who isn't going to let me work on their new project with them (it's not completely lost yet). I drove right by the airport and spotted the Texas Ranger's airplane (sorry, no photo) and was tempted to just get on a plane heading...anywhere cooler. I seriously contemplated just taking a day off and going somewhere. Maybe an amusement park?

Last week I had a fantasy about having to go into the hospital where I could just lay around for a couple of days, have food brought to me, read books, maybe even catch some TV or a movie. No phones, people with attitudes trying to get through workdays without actually having to do anything, etc. Maybe they would even consider being a little nicer to me...nah (it's not really just me, anyway).

Actually, it was more about being frustrated and angry than wanting to get away. I mentioned it to my wife and she paused for a moment, then quietly said, "Well, I guess I'm glad you didn't go..."

So I guess that's a good sign.

I had to go to Wal-Mart today during working hours. Yeah, yeah--I'm sure you think I was goofing off, but it was actually the 4th place where I was looking for something that I needed for an installation job.

My company made this plastic piece that threads inside a pipe, and I guess they use that high-pitched"whiirrrrr, whiirrrrr" machine that they put your tire lug nuts on with to tighten these things into the pipe--last time I tried to undo it I had a blister across my thumb (that ain't workin'...Money for nothin', chicks for free...-Gar, that one was for you) for about a week. So I thought I would get smart and get one of those (what in the HELL do you call that?) jar-lid- traction-increasing-rubber-pad mechanisms.

Two grocery stores and a drug store later, no thingie found--I thought I saw those things everywhere. Here's an excerpt from a plea for help:

Me: "I'm looking for something, can you help me?"

Customer service clerk (just awakened from a micronap): "Oh, you can't find it?"

Me: "Uh, no. It's one of those rubber things you use to open a jar lid"

Clerk: "A can opener? Aisle 3."

Me: "No, not exactly a can opener. It's kind of like a rubber pad to open jars"

C: "No, you don't need anything for those."

Me (slowing my words down but surprisingly patient): "You know, for when they are very tight--for a better grip"

C: "Maybe you could wear gloves for that."

Me: "Okay, I'll think about that--thanks."

So...on to Super Wal-Mart (I'm a big fan, and don't understand people that don't like Wal-Mart. Hey, if you don't like it, go somewhere ELSE! It's America (and yes, I understand their stranglehold)).

So, I look in their 4 aisles of kitchen wares and can't see this anywhere. How could Wal-Mart not have one of these things (you know what I'm talking about, right? It was like a chess match--I was trying to anticipate the mentality of some far-off store planner and how they would insert one of those grip-thingies into their store so people would buy it. All of a sudden I was starting to think I had imagined the existence of these things). I had wasted an hour and had driven 5 miles trying to find it at 4 different stores.

Then it hit me and I knew exactly where to go...I took off quickly and I was right.

There it was--hanging on a hook right in front of rows and rows of jars filled with spaghetti sauce. Knight takes Bishop, checkmate. Genius?