Insomno-mania

12:56 AM

Three cups of Turkish coffee tasted soooo good, but maybe that wasn't such a good idea at 9:00 at night. That was so nice of my Turkish friends to give me the special pan and finely powdered, intensely strong coffee. Maybe I should just get up and Email them about how much I loved it. I bet I have 20 Emails to answer, too. And those forms I need to fill out. And there are 7 pages loaded on the fax machine--I bet that number isn't busy anymore.

There's so much I could be doing. How can I just lie here?

12:57 AM

My head is whirring. I can't stop thinking these random thoughts. My synapses are firing full blast, but my arms and legs feel weighted down with lead--my body is exhausted. The thought of moving just makes me want to groan--what in the heck is that baseball player's name? The one who had his head frozen? It's not Lou Gehrig...Damn! Can't remember. Kinda like the movie "Vanilla Sky", where the guy gets the Lucid Dream. Oh, that's Tom Cruise. I need to add that to my list of "favorite movies". Well, I can't add every movie I've ever seen, can I? Who was that baseball player? Oh, add "The Natural" too. I only watch it when baseball season starts, to put me in the mood--to sit through a season of endless games. I wonder what the ratio of boring time/interesting time is in baseball? Does that add to the appreciation of the cool things that do happen?

12:59 AM

...Did the Rangers play today?

1:00 AM

Gotta tell Fran that I don't want the Lucid Dream thing--just bury me in a pine box. Well, I kind of like mahogany--walnut is really nice. I think walnut.

1:02 AM

Dear God, please let me keep my tax return in savings as long as possible this year. It seems that something always comes up--air conditioner goes out, something--and it seems to be the same dollar amount as my tax refund. This year, please, let us hang onto it. I need the peace of mind.

1:12 AM

Is it going to be just too much for Don to come over and work while my grandparents are here? Fran's already overwhelmed. They're going to be here. Where else could he go and work? I guess the guys are going to play golf without me this time. Maybe next year I'll get good again. Did I leave my Ipod out in the car overnight? That's just crazy-tempting fate. If it got stolen, what would the thief think of my stupid taste in music?

1:15 AM

How did I get $7 in library fines? I thought I was just a day late with that last book. Swine librarian mafiosos. They think they're above all of us with their stupid little stamper-thingie.

1:17 AM

Would it be so bad to just trash my novel and start over? Why does Mike D. mock me with the bit about "are you writing the Great American Novel?" Can't I just be average? Does being average scare me too much? The average person is average, aren't they? I think my writing is getting stronger and better and less desperate. It's really hard to keep the writing fresh and interesting over a long space.

1:21 AM

You really gotta stop asking people if they liked your blog entries. Just throw them out there and don't worry about it. You sound pathetic asking for feedback.

1:24 AM

I really ought to get up. But I have such a long day tomorrow. It's kind of chilly. Maybe I should adjust the thermostat. It might be a funny blog to make fun of how I'm addicted to looking things up in the dictionary now...all of a sudden. Well, I kinda already did that--plus, it's a dumb idea.

1:37 AM

I wonder if it's distracting me that I have this clock that projects the time in red numbers on the wall. The "Mr. Magoo" clock as Fran calls it. Every time I open my eyes, I see what time it is and my mind keeps doing the math...I figure if I'm still here after an hour or so I'm just going to get up.

1:39 AM

Ryan and I haven't been fishing since last year. It's not that big a deal--why couldn't we just break away and go? The last thing I used my fly rod for was to knock a frisbee off the roof...that's pitiful.

1:44 AM

I have three books going right now. Who am I kidding? I'm never going to read Anna Karenina. Hey, if Oprah can read it for her book club, I can read it. Oh, I just don't want to. But you love Russian literature. They're so sarcastic and funny. Like you. Maybe keeping that book beside your desk for a year is depressing if you aren't going to read it. I'll bring it on an airplane sometime--like when I go to Maine. Then I can accidentally drop it in the ocean if I can't bring myself to read it.

1:48 AM


You are a chinashop, and
I am a bull
You are really good food
...and I am full

1:52 AM

How many times can I stretch my foot before Fran smothers me with a pillow? This mattress didn't used to translate movement so much. If I get up and move around too much, I'm going to wake up the baby, and then it's really going to hit the fan! I've probably already woken her up. I could just roll over one more time...then I'll be comfortable.

6:45 AM

Wow! I can't believe I got a whole night's sleep--time to wake up and get Ryan going. Get him dressed, feed him breakfast--yesterday I showed off and made French toast. Today, I'll go easy and give him cereal or something. I can just give him $2 for lunch. I remember when I paid 40 cents. He loves buying lunch. Isn't it cute that Kaitlyn calls him "La la"? Could I work that into a blog somehow? I think people don't really care to read about my kids...Well, time to get up; maybe if I just close my eyes...

Oh, I have so much to do today. Thirty people to see. My body is protesting, telling me I won't make it through the day...I could easily justify working in the office at least half the day if I wanted to, but some people have been waiting for 2 days to see me.

5:24 AM

Hey! How did THAT happen? That's not supposed to work that way--Man, it's freezing in here. Was I dreaming that I was waking up? Was that a nightmare?

6:24 AM

Okay, I'm really getting up now--gotta run upstairs-got to jot down an idea on my computer quickly. No more Turkish coffee before bedtime. Starbucks sounds good right about now, though...