Armageddon and cell phones

This is a game we used to play when I was growing up--okay, at the time I didn't know I was playing...I thought it was "life". Pick any random event, and my Dad could tell you how your innocently stupid decision results in the downfall of the human race (or perhaps just personal ruin and damnation).

Example: In college, barely paying tuition, etc. Just got married.

Dad: You got renter's insurance?
Me: Well, Dad--not yet. I'm holding off for now. (unsaid part: I had to look in the couch cushions for gas money to go pick up my paycheck and the rent's late)

My move: Hey, well, if there's a fire or something, I guess I could just pick up another breakfast table at a garage sale for, like 20 bucks or so...

Dad's trump: Oh, you think so, huh? Don't you know you could accidentally burn down your apartment building and be held liable? You could be held responsible for everyone's stuff! And the Building! And the rest of the World! (okay, I added that part for dramatic effect--insert that weird echoing thing they do for announcing upcoming tractor pull contests).

Me (meekly): Well, would my $25,000 policy have covered that anyway?

Crushing blow: You mean you don't have an umbrella policy also? You know, they could take that out of your paycheck for the rest of your life! I'm just trying to give you some advice here!..

Insurance was a big player in our house. It was kind of like buying a lotto ticket--if the old man kicks over, we all get a trip to DisneyWorld and a new car--have some more pork rinds, Dad. Maybe that was one reason why it was good that he was a Texas Ranger's fan--if that doesn't give you hypertension after 30 years of shitty seasons, I don't know what it takes to kill you. Like one of those cockroaches who could survive nuclear holocaust (am I the only one that cringes every time dubya says "nu-cular", or even when you see it coming in one of his speeches? Surely someone has pointed this out to him and it's just plain stubbornness at this point, right?)

Reminds me of Midnight Cowboy and Dustin Hoffman's character talking about falling down and hurting yourself in a building as a ploy: "another way to collect insurance" with an all-knowing nod.

You can never have the right amount of insurance, can you? There's always some smarmy asshole wannabe insurance suit willing to tell you how you aren't covered for one thing or another. They've poisoned the little guy who sits on my shoulder and tells me what to do. But I let it go, then secretly feel like I've left the house without any underwear on...

--so, I wandered out into the blog world and I'm now tremendously self-conscious about how bad my blog sucks compared to all the smart people of the world. Maybe if I looked up stuff I could appear to be smarter. Or add some type of formatting. or pictures.

Maybe I'll go back and take the bad language out--or edit myself. I could really make some snappy lines up to compliment some of my less-witty previous musings. But I'm not trying to write you a research paper here (Yo!) !

Right now, my blog resembles this text game we used to play called Zork (and yes, it rhymes with "dork"). In retrospect, it was the most retarded game ever, because it had no graphics whatsoever--just descriptions, and bad ones at that--you could recreate this game yourself on a Big Chief tablet. There were even multiple versions of this game. I remember spending $$ to buy the whole Zork Anthology--it's kind of like buying an old CD even though there are only 2 good songs on it, just because you are kind of nostalgic and remember it being better than it really is.

Is there anything sadder than something that went out of style 15 years ago? If it's 100 years ago, it's kinda cool, you know? Maybe it'll show up on Antiques Roadshow or something. And after a while it's kinda cool again, you know--like parachute pants or something--an oddity that you can't really find (or can you? all these people who wear jogging suits like they are a fashion statement...) but at any rate, there's a window of time where it's just sad.

Here's another example: technology in movies and stuff.

Watch 3 Days of the Condor--c'est tre cool with the HUMONGOUS buick-sized dot matrix printers deafening everyone (the girl in the computer room doesn't here everyone get gunned down in the hall) and how it's really neat that they have a video camera outside the door! Robert Redford re-wiring the telephone wires by dropping under the street via a manhole and hooking up his handset...Cool!

Read The Bourne Identity (not watch Matt Damon, whose acting makes me sleepy)--Lame-o-rama. It's written at the cusp of time where technology was developing but there weren't cell phones. It gets frustrating: "What shall we do? We must get to a telephone booth somewhere...How can I possibly call overseas?" Lame!

I had a point, here, I really did....I was trying to come up with something from the 80's/90's that's geeky (big hair?), but the best example of all this to me is how the '70's stuff was considered soooooo stupid during the '80's, but now it's funky and cool.

Gotta go for now, but first another example of the Armageddon game:

Me: I was thinking about taking a typing class.
Dad: Take drafting--you could always get work as a draftsman
Me: I was just thinking that typing could come in handy someday
Dad: What the hell for? Are you going to be a typist? That's woman's work! Draftsmen never run out of work.
Me: Well, you know, computers and stuff
Dad: Suit yourself--just don't come whining to me when you can't find work!

hee hee!