If they asked me, I could write a book....

So, I'm half-ass tempted to write a book about my misadventures and coming of age at GEI working for Greggo. 'scuse me while I work some of this out...

It would be parts of the following:

Winnesburg, Ohio (various clips from various points of view)

The Sound and the Fury (funny scene available told from an idiot's point of view, thief's point of view, lazy person's point of view)

Secret Life of Walter Mitty(self-aggrandizing)

The Twilight Zone (can nobody else see those monkeys?)

Partly a misdirected morality tale (watch out for the left hook)

The Freshman (crappy movie but funny premise)

Opening scene: waiting on line to see the Godfather and kiss Michael Corleone's hand (If only I knew what was in store)

Random, funny scenes, some of which were just funny/ironic and some of which taught me lessons and provided interesting observations.

"Office Space" on steroids...

Kind of Capote-esque vivid language with lots of word imagery--some of the things that happened were so absurd (like our bookkeeper with the broken teeth that would superglue them back in and the way she would eat a sandwhich like half of her head would fold around it like a muppet-poor thing-and the fact that she was shaped like a troll and where do you go to buy troll-clothes? I don't think she knew where either because of what she wore, which amounted to stretchy pants and a hu-mon-gous shirt (she had 2 shirts--one tweety bird and one tazmanian devil--so I guess the answer to the question is you go to the Warner Bros. gift shop).

Questions: 1st person or 3rd person omniscient author?
Is this really interesting enough?
I can't believe I'm considering this--This job really sucked to an unprecedented degree--is that what makes it so funny because I feel so strongly about it?

How much would I have to change the names, etc. to protect the criminally negligent?

Themes:
1) The office was ALWAYS the wrong temperature--this would be funny to work in as an ongoing joke but never refer to it directly. Also had: rats, fire alarm problems, the sprinker going off, disgusting dead rat melting over time above your head stains on the ceiling, birds flying into the window every day, birds flying into the office, 4 telephones on peoples' desks, Greg's ever-growing mound of crap/paper/memorabilia/paraphenalia
2) The evolution of Greg as a character. Admiration, propping him up. Then he kind of was a figurehead in the position with misguided ideas that kept taking us off track. He evolved into a more powerful position, enforcing his flawed ideas and we ended up clashing over the direction of the company and our personality styles ended up driving each other crazy.
3) Ed as the anti-Christ figure. However, damn it, there were shards of truth in his crap philosophy that made him a dangerous political enemy to make. I didn't actually go after him, but was set at odds with him by virtue of my inherent power as VP. The shards of truth were carefully placed to give him credibility, and it was surprising how many people he fooled...until it all came out.
4) Johnny Brown as the epitome of Greg's beaurocratic fantasy. Hilarious irony, but will it play out well on paper? It's actually not too deep a concept because the guy was such an ineffectual idiot. Kinda funny because we identified him as this pretty early in the game but Greg thought we were covering our ass and not letting this unappreciated, brilliant guy move up in the company because we were guarding our job. Johnny went over my head directly to Greg and obtained more responsibility of the simplest variety which he could not process because our company was so small that no one in a position of responsibility was a cog in the wheel, with clear-cut, defined roles.
5) Money problems abounded and the crazy things we did re: bank, etc.
6) Equipment problems
7) Funny people and stories: Robert, Earl, Manual, Steve, Gar, Nancy, Teresa, Gaspar, Asmus, Osorio (literal translation: Place where bears are kept--and that's what he smelled like!), Cervantes, Jamie, Christina, Helen, Rich, Mary, Murry, Alan, Selman/Selmon (even he didn't know how to spell it), Zavala, Chity, Gooch, Suzanne, Bob, Flipper, James H. and his midget-arms
8) Overall, a good theme to develop is how I went into the company with a certain set of expectations and perhaps a naive, puritanical attitute. Was exposed to hypocrisy, treachery, corruption and incompetence that perhaps I had been shielded from in other companies--eventually forced to deal with these issues because I was in charge. Evolved as a person and as a manager and came out the other end perhaps a little more grounded and even jaded to some of the craziness.
9) I think it is a funny device to use deadpan descriptive language to detail very mundane, low, common things. If something needs to be described in gritty terms, maybe use more dialog to flesh that out.
10) Try very hard to also flesh out Greg's point of view in contrast to me/assuming the role of omniscience. I think the opposing opinion is healthy and should be provided as truthfully and unbiased as possible.
11) Gar's role--I think it would be best to make him a semi-idealized "side-kick"-type personality rather than emphasize him as a separate faction, which is really what happened, especially when he started living with Nancy. By highlighting the separate faction part of this, it actually makes me appear to stand alone and perhaps causes a credibility issue with the reader, whereas if there is at least one consenting opinion it provides a little more ready "buy-in". Overall, though, I think Gar was on my side and in our retrospective conversations he has told me that he was wrong about some of his objections. This, although the truth, would overcomplicate the story and gives me a headache just thinking about it. On the surface, Gar voted with me in general.
12) The customers' bewildered viewpoint would probably be hilarious to examine as well.
13) Storytelling device to examine and decide upon: Is it funnier to tell the story chronologically or skip around via themes?
14) Here's what's not funny: A tell-all book written as a defense of my actions. That is boring as shit and nobody cares. I think it's funnier to show my flaws and lessons and huge mistakes and their consequences. I can take it! What kind of makes it funny is that, in general, I had pure motives but funny/tragic things happened. Here's an example: Nancy looking up the embezzlement stuff--she didn't want to see it, so she missed it. I fought every urge to review it in front of her because I thought it would be demoralizing like I didn't trust her after everything she did, and couldn't find it when I tried to find it after hours. As a result, $10k more got embezzled that night and it was my fault.
15) Empowering people and then having them submarine you in hilarious, unpredictable ways--but not giving up.
16) Will people be patient for the history and explanation of how the companies' are set up, or should that be glossed over?

Note: If this is just a story about a company then it really isn't worth telling--everybody has to deal with politics at work and that isn't a new concept. It has to be contemporary, funny on a few levels, but also provide some insight in order to work.