Thump. Thump. Is this thing on?

Holy shit! I really started a blog.

That's what I get for staying up 2 nights in a row and guzzling down Vietnamese coffee. I can't even remember all my sign in stuff, so this may be the only posting for a while--why don't I ever write that stuff down? I keep thinking that maybe some hacker-administrator somewhere thinks--you know, maybe this goofball just uses the same password everywhere he goes so maybe I could just order a yacht and charge it to his visa account (yeah right--my credit limit wouldn't put a gallon of gas in your 1975 pinto, asshole!) So....I keep changing my passwords everywhere and trying to keep a secret agent-style list of it somewhere (where?) and then I end up with 10 email accounts and things being charged to my fucking credit cards that I can't turn off and classmates.com sending me 100 notifications per day telling me that some ex-classmate from high school has something to say to me but I guess we'll never know....

Okay, stopping for another sip of coffee here...God, this stuff is good!

My sister recommended this to me because I'm a frustrated writer in the making. Actually, I think I covet (why did I use that word?) my idealized writer's lifestyle of living by the lake somewhere beautiful, wearing some kind of white flowing robe and/or flannel shirt. Looking out over a balcony. Sitting down and writing whenever I want to feel like it and then bitching all the time about writer's block (I never get that--I just start producing the lowest-possible quality reading this side of a cereal box panel). Then cashing checks for a go-zillion dollars. Is that reality?

Hmmm, maybe my sister was tired of my long Emails and was suggesting an outlet other than filling up her Email with strange ramblings??

Actually, I'm a little spooked now about letting anyone in on my thoughts...not that I'm interesting enough to stalk...--God, I sound paranoid.

I have a bizarre life. I promise--You have no freaking idea.

Hopefully I'll be back if I can remember my 4:00 AM-inspired password. What happens when I press this button?...