For God's sake don't make an ass of yourself

It's rare that I love a complete movie. But here are some: Rudy (aka story of my life), Casablanca, Ben Hur, Groundhog Day, The Sting, Run Lola Run, About A Boy, The Matrix (just the first one), The Godfather (and part II is good too), Raiders of the Lost Ark, Grosse Pointe Blank (soundtrack is great), Field of Dreams. (Purposely left off this list because they're too chicky: Sense and Sensibility, When Harry Met Sally, Remains of the Day, Persuasion) (Purposely left off the list because the movie actually sucks but somehow my Y chromosome makes me watch: Top Gun, Star Wars (actually Empire Strikes Back is better).

but my brain is cursed to randomly absorb snippets of books and movies and play them back to me at odd times like a possessed VCR that comes on by itself, fast forwarding, rewinding, and then playing in a random unpredictable order.

One time, it was absolutely brilliant--we were playing "Crainium" with a group of friends from church and the question came up about how many lines are in a sonnet--now, I know Sonnet 60 because I had to learn it for school in Junior High. I actually learned it while others were reciting it for the class because I forgot to study the night before. Somehow, though, this got put on the VCR tape and the tab was broken off--it isn't going anywhere. I even went and learned a couple more.

Sooo...while we were playing the game and my team got this question, I very discretely said the sonnet to myself (no, my lips didn't move) but counted with my fingers. When we got the answer correct and amazed everyone (what can I say, they are a bunch of goofnuts that went to Texas A&M for 4 years), one of my friends demanded that I tell him how I knew--If I was a complete ass, I could have stood up and in my best mocking Garrick the Elder voice delivered the sonnet. But I got a little shy and just told him that I knew one. When the game came back around to us, I knew the next answer, which was "pointillism", a type of painting with tiny dots that was part of the impressionist movement (which I have studied and am a huge fan) (My brother Patrick regarding the Renoir print on our wall: Is that original?) Okay, I feel a little bad about putting that down here.

So, I had amazed and astounded everyone in the game, and my team won because another guy was able to whistle "Back in Black" by AC DC and I knew what it was, so I was the star for the day. Then my buddy demanded that I tell him that sonnet...in front of everyone. So I very quickly and red-faced rattled it off. Then he asked if I knew any others, which of course I did because I had memorized "My Mistress' Eyes are Nothing Like the Sun" because I had a phase where I listened to Sting before he got way too jazzy and now gives me a headache (Here are some good Police/Sting songs: "Walking on the Moon" (baseline is fantastic--at first I said "baseline rocks", but then I sound like a cheesy DJ), "Message in a Bottle", "Sister Moon", "Little Wing" (a Hendrix song but Hendrix can't sing). "So Lonely", maybe something else but let's move on....

So, I was forced to rattle off this other Sonnet which I had really learned to impress a girlfriend before I figured out that the Sonnet was actually about the fact that "my mistress eyes are nothing like the sun"--means that they aren't brilliant and sparkling--in fact, the whole poem is saying that she isn't beautiful, solaced in the end by saying "and yet, I think my love as fair as any belied by false compare". Well, the girl I learned it for wasn't that deep, so it didn't go over so well and I ended it with her (not because of that, but because she was a bitch). So I recited this, even having the quick-thinking wit to change "breasts" to "skin" (sorry, Bill) because it was mixed company and I wasn't sure, but I thought that some of the people there might have been Amish or something (not really, but so uptight you wouldn't believe it)...like what are we supposed to do? Not acknowledge that breasts exist or something? But my instincts kicked in so, thanks to that, I'm still a member of the church...

So the next day, I ran into one of the people from the nerd-party, who told me that she and some of her friends couldn't get over my brilliance (okay, maybe those are my words). By then, I had time to think and inflate my own ego, so then I DID purposely show off and recite, semi-mockingly, overconfidently, the ENTIRE dagger scene from MacBeth, because it had sunk in that these guys actually thought this was cool and not, as I think of it, a ghoulish freak of nature. Dumbfounded stare (but, overall, in a good way). Never invited to play Cranium again :).

If only my brain would act that way when I tried to learn organic chemistry for pre-med. Oh, no, that would be too practical. Hmmmm. maybe if I combined the two--"Is this an alkene I see before me? The double-bond toward my hand?" No, that would really suck.

But here's really what I wanted to get down today: a narrative by Alec Guiness from Dr. Zhivago (the movie, not the book):

...That was the first time I ever saw my brother. But I knew him, and I knew that I would disobey the Party. Perhaps it was the tie of blood between us, but I doubt it-we were only half-tied anyway, and brothers will betray a brother. Indeed, as a policeman, I would say get hold of a man's brother and you're halfway home-nor was it admiration for a better man than me. I did admire him, but I didn't think he was a better man. Besides, I've executed better men with a small pistol...

Yuri: "You're just as I imagined you--You're my political conscience!"
(I asked him didn't he have one of his own. So we talked about the revolution).
"You lay life on the table and you cut out all the tumors of injustice-Marvelous!"
(I told him if he felt like that he should join the Party).
"Ah, but cutting out tumors of injustice-that's a deep operation. Someone must keep life alive while you do it-by living! Isn't that right?"
(I thought then that he was wrong. He told me what he thought about the Party and I trembled for him. He approved of it but for reasons that were subtle, like his voice. Approval such as his could vanish overnight. I told him so...I told him what I heard about his poems...)
"Not liked? Not liked by whom? Why not liked?"
(So I told him that)
"Do YOU think it's "personal, petit-bourgeois, and self-indulgent?"
(I lied. But he believed me, and it struck me to see that my opinion mattered).


Great scene, with some recent personal relevance-particularly the last few sentences (in a good way).

Don't memorize this one, but it was a poignant scene.

Some further analysis:

1) A different concept of a brother than I have
2) I love the Russian pessimism about "get hold of a man's brother and you're halfway home"
3) Executing a better man with a small pistol...Hmmm. Well, this is interesting to me because it is kind of a Naturalism in Action--in other words, circumstances being as they are, one person gets the better of the other one despite what's fair. Read "The Open Boat", a short Story by Stephen Crane. Although, to me, the impressive part of of this short story is how Crane captures getting something stuck in your head and saying it over and over again "A soldier of the legion lay dying in Algiers...". This has happened to me a few times. Another good short story by him is "The Blue Hotel"
4) Living life while "someone else" cuts out the tumors of injustice. This, to me, is a wonderful metaphor for letting other people live idealistic lives and fight idealistic battles while others shamelessly turn away from this process and just enjoy things as they are.I love this conflict--at the time, the brother thinks he is wrong (implying a change of heart as he was older and remembering in retrospect). However, in Dr. Zhivago, it seems that the battle over idealism of a few sweeps away the entire country. Ironic that this is a departure from the czar, just another ruling party.
5) Interesting that Yuri is sensitive about his poems in light of the much greater issues at hand. Also interesting that his brother is so surprised that his criticism is so valued, and his negative feedback has such a profound effect on Yuri. Lastly, that he is surprised to see Yuri take his criticism to heart, and is flattered.
6) Kind of liked the use of "petit-bourgeois". Remind me to look it up someday and see what the hell it means.
7) Here's my secret: I've been sharing my writing with other people and pretend not to care what they think but I hang on their every word. I secretly suspect my writing is personal (meaning only interesting to myself and doesn't serve any public good), "petit-bourgeois" (meaning appealing to the French sense of humor that claims Jerry Lewis as a comic genius), and self-indulgent (meaning I'm going on and on about stuff that's in my head when other people think "enough already, we get it...")
8) Why does is brother lie? I suppose he is trying to motivate him to do what's best for the family's sake. But why not tell him the truth and then encourage him in what to do? Is this just an artistic touch put in to make the character interesting? This is the last time the brothers meet.

Maybe I could write a screenplay...